Men!
by apracot
Summary: Emily, JJ and Garcia are all pretty pissed at the men on their lives... one shot about their venting Rated T for language, just to be safe


Ok I wrote this because I'm in a bad mood with the entire male species at the moment and decided to vent my anger via some fan fiction...lol. Hm... it's basically a JJ, Garcia and Emily piece about how much they hate the men in their lives even though deep down they love them...lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds... Men do (probably) and that's another reason for me to be mad at them!  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Best friends are better than boyfriends." - Anonymous.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Emily heard her doorbell ring, followed by three loud bangs. She looked through her peep hole and seen it was JJ so let her in.

"Hey." She greeted cheerily.

Instead of answering her, a furious looking JJ stormed in and headed straight for the wine press.

"Ok then?" Emily muttered as she closed the door and walked over to where JJ was now pouring herself a large scotch.

"Um... hi?" Emily tried again to get her friends attention.

"God, he's such an ass whole!" JJ said as a reply before throwing herself down on one of Emily's couches.

Once Emily heard this she knew she wouldn't get to bed any time soon, so instead she poured a glass of scotch for herself and sat down beside JJ.

"What did Will do this time?" Emily asked.

Before JJ could answer, with what seemed to be a very long rant of some sort... the doorbell rang again.

Emily got up and looked thought the peep whole again. She was surprised to see Garcia, as she thought she was out for a romantic dinner with Kevin.

"Uh... hey." Emily said as soon as she opened the door.

Again Garcia walked past her and headed straight for the already open bottle of scotch and poured herself a large glass.

"Am I invisible today?" Emily asked as she sat back down in her seat.

"At least you know people think you're invisible, and un-important... at least you don't find out during dinner." Garcia said as she sat across from Emily and JJ.

Yup she defiantly wasn't going to be doing much in the line of sleeping tonight, Emily thought.

"Yea well at least you don't work full time and look after a one year old and clean your house while your boyfriend has a nine to five easy fucking job and then goes to a bar with friends instead of helping you out like he bloody should." JJ finally vented.

"Oh no my boyfriend just applies for yet ANOTHER job in a foreign country and doesn't tell me until it's absolutely necessary! Not to mention the fact that he expects ME to just leave with him... I mean as if I don't have a damn life of my own!" Garcia shouted, downing her drink and pouring herself another.

This conversation lasted for about another hour, JJ and Garcia trading stories about their other halves, as Emily downed drinks, trying not to think of her own love life... or lack of one to be more exact.

Finally though, after a story of how both women thought men should all be incinerated she'd had enough and decided to join the conversation.

"Well at least the men you love know you exist." She stated bluntly. "More than can be said for me." She added as an afterthought.

At this comment the two other heads in the room turned to face Emily. Garcia and JJ hadn't even known Emily had liked someone... never mind love.

"Huh?" Both JJ and Garcia said at the one time.

"I go in every day and give him a coffee... sometimes even a Danish pastry, because I know he likes them and all I get is a thank you Emily... sometimes not even that if he's engrossed in one of his damn files." She ranted, ignoring her friends shocked looks.

"Wait, wait, wait... are we talking about Hotch here?" JJ asked still looking as if she'd had cold water thrown in her face.

"Of course we are... who the hell else would be that damn clueless that I've been flirting with him for the last damn year!" Emily almost shouted.

"A YEAR!" Garcia squealed. "Why the hell wasn't Jayje and I informed of this?"

"Well because there's sweet F A to tell you... nothing's happened." Emily fumed, downing her drink in one gulp and pouring another.

"Count your lucky stars for that... at least you can't get pregnant and end up stuck with the useless man." JJ moaned, getting back to their previous topic of conversation.

"Yea or told that they're taking a job in Switzerland so the relationship may become long distance." Garcia added.

"At least you have a damn relationship!" Emily said.

The women sat in silence for a minute each lost in their own thoughts.

"God I hate men." They all blurted out at the same time.

"Oh... I'm glad we're all on the same page." Emily said with a small laugh.

"This sucks... we're sitting here moaning about them... why do we care so much?" Garcia asked, staring into her almost empty glass.

"Because we're dumb enough to love them... even if they don't love us back." Emily sighed.

"I still think they should all be incinerated." JJ muttered.

"Ah well... at least we have each other." Garcia said, looking at her two friends.

"Yup... you two are better than any men." Emily agreed.

"I second that." JJ said raising her glass. "To us... and not men!"

"To us and not men!" the other two echoed, also raising their glasses.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ok so I'm done venting now and I feel much better... YAY!... Oh and that quote at the start is SO true!

Tell me what you thought. =)


End file.
